Looking over my shoulder

(Around a 3 minute read)

Things stick in your head sometimes, sometimes for years. Many years ago somebody came into my life, and I can’t say I ever really liked him. He was bombastic and had done very well for himself; financially he was loaded let’s say.  He was a friend of a friend and we just kept crossing paths. Occasionally I would find myself in social situations with him and just could not seem to leave as he talked at me. It was all about money and really materialistic things, or the fact that people had done him wrong or were trying to rip him off. We all know that type of person, it seems they are in the news quite a lot right now!

Every conversation was one dimensional and really boring. So, you have a flash car, an amazing house you are gutting and doing up. Honestly so what! It did not help that at that time money was not in great supply to me and he seemed oblivious. However, there was one moment that I can still remember as it has stuck in my head. It made me feel really angry and used, I suppose.  We were sat at a bar at his local pub and he had been relentlessly talking at me about money, deals, business, his underperforming staff, the rip off cost of tyres for his flash car etc. etc. It was an onslaught that could not have been more tedious. 

I am sure many of you will have experienced what happened next. After this bombardment he finally asked me a question. Finally, after what seemed to be a lifetime of listening to him. However, by the time that question arrived I had nearly lost my will to live, I was drained of energy and any capacity to respond. We have all been there I am sure. Somebody who is just so focused on themselves that by the time it is your turn to talk you have nothing, the tanks are empty. It’s a void of ideas. 

I’m not sure what I said, however, I do know that I can hold a conversation with people and I have been told I can be funny. I responded to some kind of question and the very next thing he did was to look over my shoulder, for a while. Not just a glance, a while. I am sure I clenched my teeth and my mouth went small, that is what normally happens when I’m pissed off about something.  He had absolutely no interest in what I was saying and did not bother listening to me, at all. Writing this now I’m still annoyed that I wasted my time on somebody who had no intention of listening to me. 

When we are not listened to, it can hurt and it can really disconnect us. When we listen or are listened to, there is a whole different situation. Don’t be the person looking over the shoulder.